Being friends after divorce is possible
Can you and your spouse continue being friends after divorce? That depends. Divorcing but remaining friends is not an option for many couples. This is especially true when one spouse has been the victim of verbal, physical, and/or emotional abuse by their ex during their marriage.
Attempting a friendship with your ex may not be plausible if the reason for divorcing is the result of infidelity, substance abuse, alcohol abuse, or financial problems. In these types of situations, you’re better off parting ways and moving forward with your life.
Before deciding to maintain a relationship as friends once your divorce is finalized there are some things to consider. This is especially true if you have children and will be co-parenting.
It may be different than it was before
While most people feel that it’s not realistic to consider being friends after divorce, there are many couples who have remained amicable throughout the divorce process, as well as afterwards. Those couples succeeded in making the transition from “relationship” to “friendship”.
Some tips for easing into a relationship as friends include:
- Seek emotional and mental support
- Grieve the loss of your marriage first
- Avoid physical intimacy
- Take baby steps; give yourself and your ex time to heal
- Establish new boundaries through avenues of communication
- Wait until you’re both comfortable and familiar in your new roles as friends before discussing new relationships
One positive outcome of remaining friends is it can make co-parenting your kids easier – as long as the rules and expectations are laid out in a plan. In addition, ensure your kids understand that the two of you having an amicable relationship with each other does not mean you are getting back together.
Working on your friendship
The method of divorce chosen can play a significant role in whether being friends with your former spouse is indeed plausible. If you and your spouse are combatants throughout the process, it’s unlikely you will be able to develop positive feelings towards each other after the divorce.
At Green Giraffe Legal Services, we offer flat fee divorce services for couples that need guidance through the divorce process, but who are not looking to litigate every issue.
If the goal is to have an amicable divorce, our flat fee divorce option can save you thousands of dollars and a significant amount of time as well as minimize and clarify the process. Contact our Orange County office to schedule a free evaluation.