Can You Get Divorced in Secret?

Getting divorced is a deeply personal and often sad chapter in someone’s life. For many, the thought of such a private part of one’s personal life becoming public is distressing. Thus, keeping their divorce private is not just a preference but a necessity.

Thankfully, there are ways to manage your divorce discreetly. This involves carefully choosing professionals who are committed to maintaining your confidentiality, following a routine that does not raise suspicion, and sharing the details of your separation with only those who absolutely need to know. It’s important to navigate this challenging time with dignity and privacy preventing the intricate details of your divorce from becoming public knowledge.

It is important to understand that while you can be discreet in letting family, friends, and co-workers know about your divorce, most divorce records/filings are public and can be accessed through the court.

Keeping it on a “Need to Know” basis

When keeping your divorce as private as possible, it’s essential to limit information to a “need to know” basis. This principle should apply to every aspect of your life, from your profession to your social circles. While coworkers, family, and friends might notice something is different, controlling what information you share allows you to keep the details of your divorce a secret until after it’s over. This helps you avoid unwanted advice, intrusive questions, and gossip. Ultimately, it protects your privacy and lets you control the narrative of your divorce, sharing the truth on your terms.

In some cases, information can be requested from your company, banking institutions, or other professionals/institutions through the discovery process. Your spouse has a right to gather information as appropriate to evaluate their legal interest or prove legal claims. If you are concerned it is highly recommended you discuss these issues with a seasoned attorney who can appropriately advise you.

Who to talk to

Even if you’re successfully getting divorced in secret, there are certain individuals and professionals you should still talk to. For example, legal professionals who specialize in divorce can guide you through the legal process discreetly and efficiently, while therapists or counselors, bound by confidentiality, can provide the emotional support you need without risking your privacy. Additionally, conducting your own research and reading articles on divorce can offer valuable insights and strategies in private.

By sharing information on a “need to know” basis and confiding only in professionals and close, trusted individuals, you can navigate the complexities of your divorce journey while keeping it a private matter.